This has been /continues to be one busy month! I made Harmony a bonnet! My sister was here for a week, then 1 day later my in-laws got here (saturday) and left saturday. I was in another fashion show the other day for surf/sport clothing at a trade show here, which was hectic because we had to change 10 times with 10 models in 1 hour on the hottest day of the year (103 degrees!)- sweaty craziness, but fun. My cousin who just got back to LA from teaching in Japan for 2 yrs is coming up to see me soon, and my mom gets here from the Philippines Monday. While my mom's here watching Harmony, Devo and I are going to Napa wine country over Labor day weekend for 3 days for our 1 yr Anniversary, then 3 days later I go to Boston alone Sept 9-13th for my friend Selena's wedding shower!!!! AAAHHH tiring yet exciting! I am excited to see friends when I go to Boston and maybe Northampton, since i haven't been there in 8 months. It always feels strange going back since I moved away nearly 3 years ago. While walking those familiar streets, old memories flood back in and I miss people who are no longer there or in my daily life. So much has changed and so many people have moved away, making the city which I called Home for 7 years almost foreign to me. But it's always nice to be there in the fall, my favorite season which holds so much rich reminiscence for me. In the fall and summer I used to lay in the grass for hours at Copley Square, Fenway Gardens or the Commons and read, write or just people-watch. I used to think I 'd never want to move out of that city until finally I just did. I felt so at home there and this idea of "Home" has changed so much over the years. I had no family in Boston all those years, since mine had moved to Florida, yet my friends and the familiar streets enveloped me in this bubble of comfort and security. Finally I was over it and felt I had exhausted all of my options with jobs and experiences and I wanted to be with my family through a difficult time so I broke up with Devo and moved to Tampa. In my 2 years of living in Tampa, I never felt at home. It was 2 yrs of tumultuous, emotional roller-coaster rides. Now that I'm in Santa Cruz, I am already thinking of where I'll live next. At first I felt very at home here, compared to Florida, so I thought "I've found it, my home, where i belong." But now I keep missing things about New England. We've discussed moving back East in several years, but we must give ourselves the time to adjust for a while to decide if this coast suits us. It's so strange to try to figure out first where you belong individually, and then when you have a family to consider as well, what will be best for you collectively. I am so confused, but for now I am trying to build my Family so that just being with them can feel like my Home no matter where on Earth we roam, and only Time will tell where we'll end up. A good friend in Florida wrote me a song about Home and he gave me a compass before I traveled cross-country and to Europe 3 yrs ago. That song was a perfect explanation of how I felt in my search for Home and perhaps there's not a spot on this Earth that will ever suffice; but for now, Home is where my family is, where the love is.
No comments:
Post a Comment